run like hell

Gentleman's coworker assaults him, robs their place of employment, kidnaps him and runs away with his boss' wife (I think). Gentleman (Mike) wakes from coworker-inflicted head-trauma, escapes his captivity, runs into marshmallow men, threatens a desk clerk, ends up brutually mutilated. That's what you get for threatening the staff.

I assumed straight out of the gate that this would be a humorous story, the grisly violence sort of took me by surprise. It did have sort of a humorous tone, and it wasn't forced, it was actually pulled off pretty well. There were a few recurring words and sentences (references to marshmallow men repeated verbatim), and that did sort of tie the story back to the beginning effectively. And the descriptions of people were very well done, one especially vivid image was bangs as 'shiny plastic fingers clutching at his eyebrows.' Besides a sort of major one -- what's Karl's motivation? -- the few questions/suggestions I have are mostly nitpicky. It's a kind of weak, unlikely anecdote about the gentlemen's prior experience at the difficult-to-recall discount motel chain. Mille/Minnie's death was completely unexpected, I sort of like to see a heroin overdose hinted at in advance. Also, could have used some explanation of Mike's rationale for telling Dorlan there was a cop behind him. But overall, I thought it was a strong story with a well-developed narrative voice and I definitely enjoyed reading it.