Jessica's poems

Surrender

Summary: Seems to me this is a poem about having a special connection to someone who brings out the best in you, and striving to please him/her.

Reponse: I like the somewhat irregular rhyming (rhymey-ness?) right out of the gate. I am a big fan of rhyming without a solid rhyme scheme. I do like the title, too, 'surrender' is a good word for the tone of this poem. That said, perhaps it's my feminist background, I found the theme of surrender a little disconcerting in one particular line, 'I have no limits/So it's easier to please you.' I understand intellectually that this person makes the speaker feel free, but I would like to see some examples of the kind of actions or feelings this entails, so that I could understand it emotionally as well, viscerally. Also, the lines 'But I am not trying to compete/Or even win' kind of threw me off, I don't know where the theme of competition came from, and it doesn't seem to mesh with the rest of the poem. But I liked the renewing of the rhymey-ness again at the end.


Obscure

Summary: I think it's about a lover who is trying to convince her counterpart that her love is for real.

Response: I like the ending line, 'Look into my eyes/For unsaid truths,' I like how it contrasts the acts of looking and speaking, and body language vs. spoken language. Is this about an overly rational lover who is suspicious of pure feeling and needs data, like a scientist lover? I found it hard to decipher/connect with this poem, because there weren't a lot of details. I had to read it several times to come up with a hypothesis. It evoked a sort of vague situation that I couldn't relate to, but wasn't specific enough to evoke a specific image that I could imagine. I sort of see a girl standing there looking at ... someone, but I get no sense of the other person. That said, I think you've chosen some pretty good one-word titles.