Wynter Hall Comments

“Monster” Response:

Wynter, out of all the short stories I’ve read this semester, this one is my favorite. Let me start by saying your portrayal of the little girl was immaculate. I could picture the personality of this girl to a T. You captured her essence, not only in the dialogue, but in every action that she did. A line I think best shows her personality is when she says to her mom, “Nope. Wasn’t that stupid ol’ cat. It was a monster, I’m telling you.” Even a simple phrase like that helps to paint the perfect image of an 11 year old girl. I also love the part when she hisses back at the cat. In a way that was very cute. Your description of the monster was amazing. The way you described the shadows shifting and the light that wouldn’t dare touch it, the teeth that showed through the closed mouth – perfect! I was thrilled when I found out the monster was the girl’s friend. I felt sorry for her in the beginning, so having the monster on her side gives the reader exactly what they want. The ending was wonderful – did the monster kill her stepfather, or did she? I love that mysterious feeling it leaves you with and as I read the ending I got chills down my spine. Because of your detailed descriptions and intriguing plot the entire story played out in my head like a movie. There are one or two minor grammatical errors I circled in the story, but they shouldn’t be hard to fix. Wonderful Wynter!