Jane Aughenbaugh Comments

“Penny and Antonia” Response:

Nice story Jane, it had kind of a hallmark feel to it. Lines like “actually, just a howdy-do or some small chit-chat would have sufficed,” give it its sweet tone. You have a very distinct way of narrating; I can picture you reading the story aloud. I like how you don’t come right out and say their frogs, the way you introduce their physical feature is the third paragraph does that job well. I didn’t realize frogs hibernated. I did some research and found the same page you must have went to. It turns out they actually do say, “jug-a-rum.” It might read better if you introduce Penny and Antonia as mother and daughter in the first paragraph instead of in the middle of the story. I also found myself wondering what happened to Stanley, you only mention him once. Be careful when it comes to sentence structure, some of the sentences read a little choppy. Overall, great story Jane; it was a pleasure to have you in class.