jane's story

The Anniversary

A woman frantically searches her home for a treasured ring that she believes she's misplaced, but is actually in the possession of her husband so that he can have some work done on it.


The tension in this story is portrayed very vividly. The nervous energy Geraldine has is apparent in every action. She 'darts' around 'spontaneously.' The home and the items inside of it are described in minute detail: "A rectangular pink and gold decorated box with laurel leaves was in plain sight on an upper shelf. The lid was not fastened and white and yellow lace with blue satin material fell overboard on the box as it seemed to be attached and matted in place." I don't use a lot of detail in my writing and items like this stuck out to me. I can't really quite envision the box, but I can envision its features -- it's clear that Geraldine cherishes these items by the detail associated with them. As for the tale itself -- it's a cute story. Perhaps you could put more emphasis on her relationship with James, and mention the importance of the ring being tied with her love for him, as it is a token of their relationship? As the story stands, it really is more about a ring than about an anniversary. I like the peas in the pod (at opposite ends) description, but since the story is generally from her perspective, perhaps she could talk about her love for him.