To: Mike

From: Heather

I really liked how the beginning started out really intense and then it was all a dream. It reads like the beginning of a movie and the visuals were good; I could imagine the scenery in my mind and saw the characters acting out the story. I liked the ending because it left in an important part of the story and I am curious to see what becomes of this half-man, half-wolf creature in the kingdom. I’m excited to read the continuation of this short story, if there is one. Well done Mike. I commend you because my ability to write serious fiction or even to have the attention span to write fiction of any type is serious lacking. I really love the line “the sky was filled with stars with a warm summer breeze blowing” because it reminds me of summer time at my house when I lay outside on my front lawn staring at the sky for what seems like days, but is actually only a few hours.

Recommendations: I think Mike needs to pay a tad bit more attention to punctuation and capitalization. Some sentences could be combined to make longer, more detailed sentences. “The boy was about eighteen years old he had short black hair and brown eyes, He was slim and muscular. He looked like any eighteen year old except for one major deferent’s he had a tail like a wolfs.” (could be combined to 1 or 2 good sentences, instead of 4 sentences.)