review 10: Sarah Dillon

Pa-Cee-If-I-Cee has a good opener, "It requires patience", I wanted to read on for the explanation, for the lesson I expected to follow. (As a matter of personal taste, I think the beginning would read nicely without the second line, just as,"It requires patience/ to see beyond the sea".) I connected to this poem and liked it for my own reasons but I think anyone could appreciate the artful image at the center of the poem, "I spent hours searching all the maps,/ calibrating my compass rose,/ oxidized copper embellished with reds-/ and I wasn't making believe." This is such a strong image that I think it could follow the opener, as an example of the patience you mention, searching the maps and calibrating the compass patiently. You're hinting at a revelation, stepping back from or above the sea of events to make a difficult decision, you're leaving- that's my interpretation anyway. You're making the connections in the events that led you to your decision? "How all along it's been connected/ as vast as the sea." (An author, Neil Bowers, wrote that "Looked at in reverse, anybody's life seems inevitable"- it stuck in my head for some reason.) If that's what you're talking about, maybe you could explain the connections you made, the "you" in the poem. It's not so much important to me what the you's relationship is, boyfriend, parents, but I'd like to know whether you're leaving in the sense of leaving a relationship, leaving an era of your life, going on a journey, otherwise, or all of the above. I can't decide whether you're happy or afraid or sad or what. I'd like to know how you feel about leaving, how they feel about your leaving maybe, more explanation. I do like the fact that the vagueness the poem has now lends it to many different experiences but I think you can still maintain this with a little more explanation.
The Sarah Spectrum also has a nice opener, "the shag brown carpet itching my back". I like the color images, I went through to find a pattern but I didn't see one. There's a children's book called Hailstones and Halibuit Bones that goes through each of the colors and describes them with every sense, the taste of blue is blueberry pie, the sound of white is a whisper, etc. I know you're following the chronology of your life and life doesn't organize itself by color but maybe you could try to create a pattern. Maybe choose one color for each stage of the poem, childhood is yellow, adolescence is orange, etc. This might be too simplistic or it might be fun. Colors have so many associations. I like the lines "Blue is the shirt that makes him look oh so fine./ Blue is something he will never make me feel."