The Intentions of the Intentional and Mankaure and Khamerernebty

To: Sara
From: Jessica
Re: The Intentions of the Intentional

This poem conveys a jazz sort of theme, which is expressed through the structure of the poem itself and through words such as “Fat Domi Dot”, and of course the obvious word of jazz written three times. Overall the poem seems to be everywhere with no specific thoughts. I would try not to break up the thoughts as much and try a different title. Who are the intentional? This poem makes me feel a bit confused. I am not sure if it’s about tired workers, tired jazz players, remembering times lost, or a weary lover. I like the closing of the poem with words like “careful diagnosis of strangers”.

To: Sara
From: Jessica
Re: Mankaure and Khamerernebty

Not quite sure about the title. Are these names of some sort, perhaps Egyptian names? I am not sure if Iamitisoflate was meant to be separate words or not because that’s how it displays once downloaded. Again the author displays an interesting structure for lyrics. I like the opening lines “be thou not and I no more of life than the numbers once counted”.
I like the line that states, “We met on Monday, summer still stale on our lips”. My favorite would have to be the ending, “a heap of broken shells and pebbles”. Again there seems to be several thoughts within this poem. The structure needs to be revised but I do see what the poet is trying to get across. This poem makes me feel a sense of loss. I think the author is trying to bring that across in this poem in addition to a sense of regret.