Jessica Fugate Comments

“Surrender” Summary:

The poem “Surrender” is about a woman’s who expresses her feelings toward a man. She describes what it’s like when he’s around her.

“Surrender” Response:

I really enjoyed reading this poem. It’s written very well. I love the short three or four word lines, they flow together perfectly. My favorite line is, “Around you I am me, Free.” I think that line alone sums up everything she is feeling. I also love how descriptive the poem is when it comes to her specific feelings and desires. Words like “satisfaction” and “truth” really help to convey what she feels. Furthermore, these words help to give the poem an overall feeling of satisfaction and fulfillment. As far as what I would change, there isn’t very much. I suppose I would change the last line. Instead of “to let you know, that I see you,” I would write a line that has to do with the theme of satisfaction, or maybe a line that reflects the poems title of “Surrender.” Overall, it’s one of my favorite poems that I’ve read so far.

“Obscure” Summary:

The poem “Obscure” is about someone how is opening herself up, laying all of her cards on the table to the person she is with.

“Obscure” Response:

I like “obscure” as well. It’s very short and easy to read. The poem gets right to the point, for example, “Try and test to look for proof when all you need is in front of you.” Its meaning is clear, it’s about someone who is “bearing her soul” to the man she is with. My favorite line is the last one, “I have nothing to hide from you, look into my eyes for unsaid truths.” It’s very deep. One thing I would do is make the poem a little longer, go into detail about how reveling her “unsaid truths” makes her feel. The title confused me a little bit, is it implying that the person opening herself up is usually obscure and hard to read? Another thing I would consider revising is line eight, “with conformation.” All of the other lines had at least three words, and I thing this two word line interrupts the flow of the poem.