Jen Burghardt Comments

“My Yesterday” Summary:

“My Yesterday” is about a girl who doesn’t like the present because she no longer has the person she loves. Therefore, she takes the present for granted and attempts to live life in the past.

“My Yesterday” Response:

I think this is a great poem because it’s so forward and direct. I like the way it comes right out and says, “My today doesn’t have him.” It lets the reader know the feeling of the poem right from the start. I also found the repetition of the word “yesterday” to be very aesthetic, especially in line three where it simply reiterates the phrase, “My yesterday.” I like the internal rhyme in line nine which reads, “In my today his smile is far away,” I don’t know if that was intentional or not, but it works. I also like the phrase in line ten, “I long for my yesterday to return.” It gives the poem a certain feeling of sophistication. If I were to change one thing, however, it would be the word “lackluster” in line five. The word lackluster means dull or lacking radiance, which fits the poem perfectly; the word itself, however, stands out and interrupts the flow of the poem. I would replace it with a similar word such as dull.

“Eyes Closed” Summary:

“Eyes Closed” is about a boy who was hurting. No one noticed because he kept it to himself and didn’t show anyone his pain. For him, life was just easier keeping the pain inside.

“Eyes Closed” Response:

The poem “Eyes Closed” really makes you wonder. It’s very vague and gives no reference as to what kind of factors are causing the boy to hurt. Its vagueness is probably a good thing because it lets the reader use his own imagination, which in my experience is never bad. I also found the poem style to be interesting. Because the lines are so short and to the point the poem comes across as sounding fast passed, almost as if it were a stream of consciousness. Similarly to “My Yesterday,” I enjoyed the repetition of the phrase, “He kept it” in lines three and four. Another thing I liked was the last line where the words “eyes closed” ended the poem. Though the poems abruptness evokes a certain feeling, I think it wouldn’t hurt to include more detail. By “detail” I don’t mean explanation of the boy’s feelings, but rather a larger description of the feelings themselves.