review 4: Bright Red and Thank You

Concrete images, like pain killers and lighting a cigarette, are what the reader will respond to emotionally. This is not an easy subject to approach, especially if you've had any personal experience with it. However, if you do feel you have enough distance and it's something you need to express, you should go for it. Give us the gorey details. What kind of razor? How has she kept the secret? Wearing long sleeves? (The lead singer from Garbage, Shirley Manson, used to wear high boots for this reason.) And who does she keep the secret from? Edit out the commentary and just allow the reader to respond to the images. For example, you don't have to tell us that the gashes are "gashes of pain"; "bright red gashes" already sounds painful. Your second poem is also a tough subject, an abusive relationship of some kind. Both of these are painful enough to write about, I'd imagine, without re-living the experience by coughing up details. Unfortunately, that's the only way the reader will feel what you feel.