Review for Trenise

Ode to Shelby: this poem had such a lighthearted feel that I personally enjoyed. This poem kind of reminded me of a poem Shel Silverstein would have written for an adult. I like that you chose to write about something so blatantly obvious, sometimes it gets frustrating trying to search for the meanings in poems! The rhyme scheme flows pretty well, but I think if you were to rearrange some of the phrases it would make it flow more smoothly. For example in the second line you could say "You're in the shop more" as opposed to "You're more in the shop" and also in the line "Instead I look at dealers at their fancy new cars" you could have replaced at with and to make it a little easier to read. Overall I enjoyed it, you picked a topic that I'm sure most can relate to an understand which.

My Fury: I can really feel your anger in this poem, whether you are talking about an ex-boyfriend or anyone who has wronged you I really got the impression that you were pissed off. You are expressing common emotions that most of us will feel so therefore this poem can reach a wide audience. I think you could have elaborated a little bit more, especially at the end because the poem kind of falls short. There are also a few words that I got stuck on. I think in the third line you replace one of the "tooks" that you used because it was a little repetitive and the next line I think by saying "milk you have taken away" would be more concise.