Review for Michael.

To Protect (Chapter Two):

I'll start by saying that i like the direction you seem to be going in. The relationship between Kibin and Mary is something you seem to be focusing on a lot, and i think that works very well. You're doing a good job of creating a fantasy environment, and there is some good descriptions at times. " There in front of them stood a huge stone wall going on for about half a mile till it met the mountains..." The description in that paragraph is nice. While reading i still found myself having to stop and figure out certain misuses with spelling and grammar. I would definitely suggest using some kind of spell check to help you out. It really distracted me at times, and made me lose the pace of the story. I think if you work on tightening the structure, the overall piece will become much stronger.