Lust and Daddy

WOW! Both of these poems are so blunt. I love it.

In Daddy, the time progression works well to demonstrate exactly how much a fatherless child endures by themself. I like how you give insight on the big milestones in a person's life, but I think just some of the most basic everyday tasks that a father misses out on should be touched upon.

In Lust, you give alot of vivid images, to be interpretted for what they are. A few that stood out are,
Our bodies intertwine

Dark
Wet
Tight

I drink your soul

Your use of repetition is also nice here, with Darkness Blackness, and, in and out
In and out. I can appreciate the straight up approach.