Prematurely Picked and The Night Life

Prematurely Picked: I loved the two phrases "married hibiscus" and "savored trumpet", these two sets of words, which initially do not appear to have any relation, are bonded together by your use of description. I really liked the lines "Nor am I blossoming, turned inward..." I got a good visual in my head of this flower and can actually understand the anger that is expressed. Generally anger is something that a lot of people tend to hide and keep inside, much like the flower that has not blossomed yet. I also really liked the line "My colors misrepresent me. I am not showy". I think I liked this so much because it is basically a way of saying don't judge a book by it's cover, but in a very creative and insightful way. The only thing I think you could fix would be the overall unity of the poem. I feel that although I really like the images you presented, there could be something that ties them together.

The Night Life: This poem is so real to me because it really portrays life. People really come alive when they have had some alcohol and do things that are sometimes unexpected. The line "I am kinetic and full of potential" because both of these words deal with energy, which it is clear you have plenty of. I like being able to see things as I read them so I really enjoyed the stanza that begins "I remember walking out of the bar," this made me laugh because I could actually visualize the drunken "walk of shame" if you will. Overall I like the ability you have to create reality in your poem, nothing is so drowned in symbolism that it loses its meaning. I feel that this poem was kind of choppy at parts, I think there could be a smoother transition or you may just be able to take out the part that says "I am once again, Just the plump, White girl, Down on vacation from the states." Somehow I think this stanza almost adds a negativity to the poem which isn't present anywhere else.