Matt Comments

“Slip Away” Response:

Your poem is very deep. I love the descriptive words you’ve used in many of your lines. For example, “shades of darkened grays,” “wine tinted smile” and “churning in the bitter dark.” Lines like that not only give description, but they create the mood of the poem. The mood, to me, was sad and almost hopeless. Another line I really loved was, “silence was the answer to questions we sustained.” I could be wrong, but that line gave me the impression of two people questioning their relationship who were to afraid to say anything. I was a little puzzled with the line, “traction in the city drew me towards this fate.” It would be nice if you added a few lines telling us what role the city had in creating your fate. Overall, it’s a great poem.

“Untitled” Response:

The first several lines of this poem had the same feel as “Slip Away.” I love the lines, “Glass stained of longing. Nestled in an ivory cage.” Glass is a good metaphor for a shattered heart, but what does the ivory cage represent? Is it a metaphor for the body? My favorite line from this poem is the last line, “I am main lining on dreams.” I don’t even know what main lining means, but the words sound really good together. There’s a point in the poem about halfway through where you seem to go in another direction. The first six lines describe the shattered heart, but the last nine lines talk about how it’s affecting you, how it changes you’ve view of the world. I love this poem; it’s one of my favorites. It’s probably a good idea, however, to think of a title for it.