Wynter's Reviews

To Protect

I liked the supernatural elements of the story, and the setting in a medieval time. There seems to be a nice backstory to what goes on in the world that has been created and things seem to fit nicely together. I especially liked the setting in the beginning- the electrical storm seemed to set a nice, dark mood for the rest of the story. The story was even humorous near the end, when Mary dragged Kibin off to become a knight. The format was off, though; punctuation and spelling errors, and the story ends abruptly, leaving more to be desired. But keep up the good work!

Eyes Closed

It’s obvious that the person talked about in the poem is going through some type of turmoil. That leaves me to wonder what exactly he is going through- whether it is emotional or physical pain, and what exactly is causing it. The poem is short, simple, and to-the-point, and even so it implies a lot. I enjoyed reading this poem and I like the simplicity of it, the person’s resolution to simply shut away his problems. It’s bittersweet.

My Yesterday

This poem seems to speak of love lost, and a feeling of longing. The speaker is distressed and wishes that things were the way they were, even to the point of living in the past, ignoring the present, as demonstrated in the line ‘I’ll ignore my today’. The poem is a bit more descriptive than ‘Eyes Closed’, but that works very well for this poem. You know exactly what the speaker misses about her lover [at least it seems to me like a lover, but I guess there could be some other relationship between the two] but there are still some things left to the imagination- why, exactly, the speaker’s lover is no longer with her. Overall a well written poem, not sure there’s anything I would change.

The Intentions of the Unintentional

The first things I noticed about this poem was the format, which immediately interested me and seemed to draw me in. I enjoyed the repetition in the first stanza. The poem seems to be written from one person to a significant other who is no longer with him/her. The speaker seems nostalgic- but I can’t tell the mood exactly, whether it is neutral or sad. Still, there are some interesting lines, such as ‘That’s jazz, jazz, jazz, dig?’ and ‘I was crying last night, baby, sleeping with your shadow…” All in all, I enjoyed this poem. It really seems to shine when it is read aloud, allowing the rhythm to be heard.

Mankaure and Khamerernebty

Once again the format of the poem was interesting. Unlike ‘Intentions’, this poem seemed much more clear on the mood, which seemed to me to be melancholy. I especially liked the line ‘I am no more a woman than a photograph’, the analogy is interesting and the imagery in the poem is wonderful. I enjoyed reading it, though I only really understood it after it was researched a bit. Still a good one!

The Anti Utopian Experience

The poem is well written; the first two lines seem to communicate directly with the reader, makes the speaker seem like a teacher of sorts. I also liked the dual meaning of the lines ‘You will need a helmet to protect your delicate – bones are crushing under my words’. With that said, I wasn’t quite sure what the poem was exactly about- it suggests oppression, words of warning to whoever will listen. It seems like the speaker is trying to teach someone a valuable lesson.

Madman’s Lullaby

Just the title of the poem was enough to draw me in. The mood is oppressive, and suggests a rebellious nature as well. It seems like the speaker is willing to play along with the game in the beginning, to rebel, but near the end of the poem it seems like the speaker’s losing the will or the means to continue fighting (‘I could never unrest my soul, but if I was able to unclench my fist I would dig myself out of the hole). I like the imagery of the sheep, it goes well with the theme- the lullaby, the insomnia.

I Think the ‘Run Like Hell’ was Implied

When I read the first sentence I had to go back and read it again to make sure I had actually seen ‘Stay Puft Marshmallow Man’. ..Totally did. For a while I was left wondering exactly where that came from, anticipating figuring out exactly who these Marshmallow men were, imagining that evil mascot in Ghostbusters. The story was humorous in some instances, and the violence near the end of the story wasn’t exactly expected. Then again, I really didn’t know /what/ to expect at the end of the story- but that made the story that much more enjoyable to read. Surprises are nice. Still, I did wonder who exactly Dolan was and where he came from- and moreover, where the mice came from. The odd relationship between Mill/nnie was interesting- Mill/nnie was the one who talked Karl into robbing the place, and she’s a lot older than him- she seemed to be the one in charge. Was she just using Karl to get her fix? Still, the open ending was nice. Wonder just what’ll happen to poor old Mike.

Surrender

The poem is very descriptive about the speaker’s feelings toward her lover, and you know exactly what she’s going through when she’s around him (‘You send chills down my spine’). It is very clear on the fact that she loves him. The first two lines seem to imply that the speaker likes to play hard-to-get, or is in some way sly with her lover, but is nonetheless comforted by his presence. The line ‘Around you, I am me, Free’ speaks volumes about the speaker’s feelings. Well done!

Obscure

Obscure indeed! I wondered exactly what was the relationship between the speaker and who he/she is speaking to- what has happened between them to make the speaker have to bare his/her soul? It’s the simplicity, and the questions left unanswered, that make the poem more appealing in my opinion.

Horizon Bound

There were several lines and phrases that caught my eye in this poem: I enjoyed the first two lines, they seemed to flow so nicely. The mood of the poem seems to me to be one of desperation, since the speaker is fleeing from what she knew and chasing the sun. Aside from the first two lines, I loved the phrase ‘pirate eyes’, it was also a favorite of mine; there’s a feeling of release, of escape, chasing an uncertain future where she may or may not ever achieve happiness.

When He Stops the Tears

The poem starts off a bit depressing, but becomes much more uplifting once the speaker’s lover comes to sweep her off her feet. I sort of wonder about how fast the poem is moving, and what her lover’s intentions are; whether what she is telling us is real or what she just thinks is happening. I feel like the guy is sort of moving in for the kill- but then again, maybe that’s just the passion in the relationship between the two of them. In any case it was descriptive, especially with the intimacy between the two of them; you were very descriptive about that.

Flight

I enjoyed reading this story, especially the ending. The introduction of the characters was clever- describing Frederich as a pale ‘wilted aloe plant’, and Josephine with her avian qualities- the hook nose and the dark, sharp eyes. Even when you described them like this I didn’t suspect what they turned out to be later in the story. The relationship between the two of them was interesting, and I’m glad the two characters found one another, and that Frederich finally convinced Josephine to fly- their little gift-giving ritual was very sweet. It’s sad that Josephine just let them wither like she did- the story speaks a lot about what working in an office can really be like. Josephine’s nonchalance was intriguing, even right up to the end, with her last line of dialogue. I like to think she was really able to fly.

Trees

The second and third lines gave me images of specific trees- ‘arms reaching to heaven’ of an oak tree, and ‘heads bowed in prayer’ of a weeping willow. The poem has wonderful imagery and I enjoy the personification of the trees and the seasons; without the title, the poem could almost seem as though it were speaking about people instead, of course when the poem speaks about fall and mentions leaves, you know what is being written about. I also like the flow of the last line, and the line ‘Nevertheless confined to give, not take’ reminds me of the story ‘The Giving Tree’, and seems so true about trees.

Love is a Season

Used again here, the personification of seasons works very well, and they work to describe the speaker and her lover very well. Too bad the beginning line speaks of winter as a bad thing! The poem is also very short, but it works, everything works! This is a sweet love poem and speaks constantly about nature- the seasons, ‘blossoming love’, summer wheat, the breeze- I loved that about the poem. Nice!