Review for Egypt Risisng

The first thing that stuck out to me was the way Dawn used a minimal ammount of words to describe the physical surroundings. The words she chose could not have been better as they perfectly and adequately described the surroundings. This is an excellent skill for a writer of short fiction. Also the way the main characters internal dialogue was used was excellent and flowed very well while also containing humor. My only two critiques of this story is that the plot is 'cookie-cutter' and with the writing skills shown in the beginning of the story I think a more inventive plot would be excellent. Of course this may be a moot issue as this seems to be part of a larger story and the plot could become much more original as the story progresses. My only other complaint is that when the main character is in the tomb by herself I don't feel that enough tension is set up, I wanted to feel her fear and anxiety as she explored the tomb alone.