review 1

Sarah:

The first lines of Homeward Bound are very effective and your rhythm sets a nice mood for this piece. You definitely have a style to your writing that gives it confidence: your rhythm, language like "nitty-gritty", slang, conversational tone with "oh, i can't go there" and sense of irony, all contribute to an interesting persona.
Only one suggestion: search through for extraneous words. For example, the line "or should my face reflect that of your features" would still communicate as "or should my face reflect your features". Tossing out little words like that would help the flow.